Archive | August, 2015

Temperance for the Addicted Mind

31 Aug

When I concluded that I have an addictive personality, I realized that I had two options: either I relinquish the addiction in its entirety, or I temper it by other means.

Now because beer is a detrimental addiction, and caused me to suffer a bit of agoraphobia, I have relinquished it altogether. Unfortunately, because I have replaced it with juices, I am getting far too many calories. Here is where I can temper this addiction. I simply alternate ice water between the juices. The biggest problem is that I drink so much that I have little to no appetite. Thankfully, I love to cook, and eat healthy; I just need to figure out a way to temper the liquid intake.

Intercourse and fellatio are also addictions. Men believe themselves to be quite virile, but no man can withstand the addicted mind. Obviously, I must temper rather than relinquish these addictions. I simply take my imaginary lover to where ever I choose, and do whatever I desire. My lover is handsome, intelligent, witty, hairy chest, muscular legs and buttocks, and is well-endowed. The other night I took him to the hot springs in Iceland. He tastes good. He feels good, and I do not need to masturbate. Problem solved.

Politics is an huge addiction. I temper this by reading about singers and movie stars who I’ve never even heard of. I feel that in this sense, I will maintain some sense of normalcy. I started doing this after watching those “man on the street” interviews, and getting all the political figures correct, but not knowing who the hell the entertainers were. In other words, I was the opposite of the people interviewed.

If I had OCD, I would probably be in big trouble as I have no clue how those personality types deal with their quirks. For instance, I’m addicted to herbs and vitamins, but if I had OCD, I would probably line them up in some sort of order, or some such nonsense.

Aside from going to some shrink, which is probably a total waste of money, I feel that I’m handling my addictions in the most intelligent way possible.


Rule 5: Our Future First Lady?

30 Aug

Melania Knauss Trump ain’t exactly Michelle…..

She was a model:

Melania would be the second First Lady not born in the US. Louisa Adams, wife of John Quincy Adams, was born in London, England. Melania was born in Sevnica which was then a part of Yugoslavia.


As beautiful as she is, she is also a doting mother and wife:

I do believe she trumps Trump.



23 Aug

I told my husband what happened last night, and he doesn’t believe me! The other lifted the toothbrush before my very eyes. It was amazing. Now my husband has bought some sort of blood-pressure device as he deems me crazy. Continue reading

My son’s opinion on me

21 Aug

I am so happy to say that my son sawr a song that made him think on me! Yippee! Oh. here is the song:

I feel super cool……

Tutorial 101

21 Aug

God bless America! Must I always come to the rescue of boys? See here you big dummies (as Redd Foxx would say), you must gain an erection before interaction. Let’s be honest. Girls love a hard penis in their mouth, not one that is flaccid!! YIKES! C’mon, fellas, help a sista out fer cryin out loud!

I hope my schooling has been productive. I know what girls like. Boys should take my advice…

Pomade that Pompadour!

17 Aug


Had to cut my son today as school starts tomorrow (yes, I am licensed and awesome, but that is common knowledge). Typically, I stick with the Pompadour because I find it to be a most flattering, and flexible cut for a boy….I just do a shorter version. In case you’re wondering, here is a sample from a very handsome boy (James Dean as Jett Rink) in a show called Giant with a pompadour cut:

Curiosity killed the Kelly-Cat, and I had to discover the origins of this style….leave it to an actor (and a player) to having a men’s style named after her……

The Magic Position

17 Aug

Yesterday, Trump posted some specifics on his positions, while also calling out one senator who apparently is bought and paid for by FB owner, Zuckerberg.

Personally, I compare Trump to a tabloid magazine journalist in that he unapologetically exposes the dirt on the D.C. cartel (a Cruz term) which is funded on the backs of taxpayers. That said, he is a very smart guy. I reckon you sorta have to be to amass $10 billion. Here are his positions:

Still, my heart is so fond of Carson. He is another really smart guy. I reckon if you can separate conjoined twins, you’ve got the grey matter firing on all four cylinders. Speaking of twins, it would literally scare the hello outta me if my sisters were conjoined at the head. (That would’ve been disastrous when they fought over the Cocoa Puffs in the morning.) What was I on about? Oh, yes! Here are Carson’s positions:

Oh, here’s a song that the candidates shared with me: