Archive | August, 2015

Temperance for the Addicted Mind

31 Aug

When I concluded that I have an addictive personality, I realized that I had two options: either I relinquish the addiction in its entirety, or I temper it by other means.

Now because beer is a detrimental addiction, and caused me to suffer a bit of agoraphobia, I have relinquished it altogether. Unfortunately, because I have replaced it with juices, I am getting far too many calories. Here is where I can temper this addiction. I simply alternate ice water between the juices. The biggest problem is that I drink so much that I have little to no appetite. Thankfully, I love to cook, and eat healthy; I just need to figure out a way to temper the liquid intake.

Intercourse and fellatio are also addictions. Men believe themselves to be quite virile, but no man can withstand the addicted mind. Obviously, I must temper rather than relinquish these addictions. I simply take my imaginary lover to where ever I choose, and do whatever I desire. My lover is handsome, intelligent, witty, hairy chest, muscular legs and buttocks, and is well-endowed. The other night I took him to the hot springs in Iceland. He tastes good. He feels good, and I do not need to masturbate. Problem solved.

Politics is an huge addiction. I temper this by reading about singers and movie stars who I’ve never even heard of. I feel that in this sense, I will maintain some sense of normalcy. I started doing this after watching those “man on the street” interviews, and getting all the political figures correct, but not knowing who the hell the entertainers were. In other words, I was the opposite of the people interviewed.

If I had OCD, I would probably be in big trouble as I have no clue how those personality types deal with their quirks. For instance, I’m addicted to herbs and vitamins, but if I had OCD, I would probably line them up in some sort of order, or some such nonsense.

Aside from going to some shrink, which is probably a total waste of money, I feel that I’m handling my addictions in the most intelligent way possible.

Rule 5: Our Future First Lady?

30 Aug

Melania Knauss Trump ain’t exactly Michelle…..

She was a model:

Melania would be the second First Lady not born in the US. Louisa Adams, wife of John Quincy Adams, was born in London, England. Melania was born in Sevnica which was then a part of Yugoslavia.


As beautiful as she is, she is also a doting mother and wife:

I do believe she trumps Trump.



23 Aug

I told my husband what happened last night, and he doesn’t believe me! The other lifted the toothbrush before my very eyes. It was amazing. Now my husband has bought some sort of blood-pressure device as he deems me crazy. Continue reading

My son’s opinion on me

21 Aug

I am so happy to say that my son sawr a song that made him think on me! Yippee! Oh. here is the song:

I feel super cool……

Tutorial 101

21 Aug

God bless America! Must I always come to the rescue of boys? See here you big dummies (as Redd Foxx would say), you must gain an erection before interaction. Let’s be honest. Girls love a hard penis in their mouth, not one that is flaccid!! YIKES! C’mon, fellas, help a sista out fer cryin out loud!

I hope my schooling has been productive. I know what girls like. Boys should take my advice…

Pomade that Pompadour!

17 Aug


Had to cut my son today as school starts tomorrow (yes, I am licensed and awesome, but that is common knowledge). Typically, I stick with the Pompadour because I find it to be a most flattering, and flexible cut for a boy….I just do a shorter version. In case you’re wondering, here is a sample from a very handsome boy (James Dean as Jett Rink) in a show called Giant with a pompadour cut:

Curiosity killed the Kelly-Cat, and I had to discover the origins of this style….leave it to an actor (and a player) to having a men’s style named after her……

The Magic Position

17 Aug

Yesterday, Trump posted some specifics on his positions, while also calling out one senator who apparently is bought and paid for by FB owner, Zuckerberg.

Personally, I compare Trump to a tabloid magazine journalist in that he unapologetically exposes the dirt on the D.C. cartel (a Cruz term) which is funded on the backs of taxpayers. That said, he is a very smart guy. I reckon you sorta have to be to amass $10 billion. Here are his positions:

Still, my heart is so fond of Carson. He is another really smart guy. I reckon if you can separate conjoined twins, you’ve got the grey matter firing on all four cylinders. Speaking of twins, it would literally scare the hello outta me if my sisters were conjoined at the head. (That would’ve been disastrous when they fought over the Cocoa Puffs in the morning.) What was I on about? Oh, yes! Here are Carson’s positions:

Oh, here’s a song that the candidates shared with me:



The Outsiders ~

16 Aug

It’s amusing to me that the media is scratching their heads about the candidates who are not involved in politics. This, I don’t understand as the people are sick and tired of the games in D.C. by the two parties who have conjoined as some sort of evil Siamese twins.

On the right, we have Trump, Carson, and Fiorina. Let’s start with Trump. People get offended by this guy, but he’s a New Yorker….(they’re kinda like talkin to someone from Wisconsin as they will speak their mind, and don’t care if they, God forbid, hurt your feelings or are politically incorrect.)

Quite frankly, I got more policy info from the Hannity interview with Trump than the debate. When Kelly brought up a fight from the View, I thought WTF? What I learned from Hannity’s interview is that he will put great minds into key positions to strengthen the economy. He wants to streamline the tax code, but wants the wealthy to pay more, and is against the Fair Tax…this, I don’t understand as it (the Fair Tax) would, logically, require the rich to pay more, anyways….hmmm, oh, well. He believes the way to conquer ISIS is to stop their oil supply (defund them). This, I agree with. Also, I believe he is exactly correct on how meek our country is when bargaining with these leeches. (Actually, my nephews bargain better than these jokers in D.C….. truth!) I really dig that he’s running his campaign on his own dime….same as Sanders on the Democratic side.

Now Carson is my favourite. Of course, from the debate we gained nothing of what his intentions are (the debate sucked in that aspect.) Carson is for a Fair Tax. He would like to seal our borders, and see illegals that are here sign up as guest workers, and pay taxes, but not be able to vote, get in the line for legalization here as the people who have done so legally. (This is fiscally sound.) He should like to keep funding Planned Parenthood (like Trump), but eliminate the selling of baby-body parts. This boy is really intelligent, and one to watch.

Next we have the one Republican female candidate, Fiorina. This one is one smart cookie. Hopefully, the boys are prepared…..

On the Democratic side, Sanders is creating the dust-up. The problem that most people don’t get about his fawning for the Nordic socialist program is that all those countries combined are only 26 million people. The US is, what, 320 million people? It is also interesting that the blame for the economy is put on the corporations. Think carefully on this: a corporation employs a crapload of people. How many people does Robert Downey, Jr. employ? Why no attacks on the Hollywood elite? Surely, it’s not an agenda, right? Keep sucking up to the media……….. suckers!

To accentuate my point, I’ll give you the Wal-Mart CEO’s salary, and Robert Downey Jr.’s. Let’s start with Robert Downey Jr., the actor – $80 million. C. Douglas McMillon, CEO – $19.1 million. Do we all need to make the same wage, then, Bernie?…..(except for actors, of course) Guess I lucked out on this line of thinking!

That said, I agree with Mr. Sanders’ view that the boys and girls should start debating now. On the Maddow show, he proclaimed that he might initiate his own debate. I really hope that he does…..


Diver Down Flag

14 Aug

Diver Down Flag ~

Here is some fun info if you’re curious….

A while back ago, we were at the Vortex Spring, and the girl signing the boys up for a dive told me that her grandma came up with the design for the Diver Down flag. My husband thought she was probably pulling my leg, but I felt she was sincere. Naturally, I had to investigate…..

Let’s just say, the girl is always right…… well, unless you’re a Clinton, Pelosi, or das Schwein-Schultz. Here is the proof:

Call me if you’re ever in NW FL and should like to go…it’s awfully fun.

Oh, here’s one of our adventures: